Tyagaraja

What the heart wants we follow.  What the heart wants we sometimes suppress.  What the heart cannot contain my emotions explode.  I live to sing.  There is absolutely no way to cease the intense flow of feelings pouring from the ocean of my heart.  The river of vibrations is what connects our heart to heart.  My service is to sing.  If my voice is silenced my heart will stop, my service will cease, and there is no longer reason to live.  Where is that flower that blossoms in the hearts of those receiving my service?  Without this flower’s fragrance life again has no purpose.  The thirst of this flower’s nectar will never see satisfaction.  The processing of energy within my soul is an endless vessel.  The art of creation enters the vessel and the service of expression and love exudes.  Without presence of those who receive my service, my expression and love falls like a lone tree in a forest with no witness to experience its return to the earth.  It then evaporates into space as well as my lone purpose.  Melodramatic and exaggerated?  Either way my heart wants what it wants, and I am a helpless servant to my heart’s deepest desire.  I will follow with every breath, and every movement of my body, until that inevitable day comes when my breath and movement leave me and my soul returns to the Source… and still within the Source Itself my heart will sing the praise of energy passing through the Eternal Vessel!

Meditating along the Ganga River in Rishikesh India during India Tour 2011/2012

I will now set the scene.  I’m leaving Sugarland Texas for Downtown Houston as the Sun is setting with its brilliant Orange glow.  The cloud of smoke from the devastating wild fires of Bastrop Tx stretch across the western landscape.  I feel the suffering of the trees, wildlife and the people forced from their homes and their possessions destroyed.  The suffering of the trees fills the air, and I breathe it in.  I breathe out a blanket of love covering the wounds of the Earth.  Earth is here like a Mother wanting only to serve the purity and perfection it keeps in balance.  Human beings are exploiting Her, and devouring and destroying Her gracious love, and Her need to serve Us in the best way She can.  I feel the suffering of the World.  I tune my ears to the information coming from the radio, story after story of death, war, corruption and immense suffering.  We spend most of our time on Earth suffering.  I breathe in and out.  I tune the rhythm of my love to the pain and suffering felt by all of the World.  As I finish off the 59N stretch and exit 288 to leave our beloved place in 3rd Ward behind forever, I have this deep conversation with the suffering and the love of the World.  It causes me to want to call my Mom.  It allows me to realize that a Mother’s sole purpose is to relieve the suffering of Her child.  I want to tell my Mother this… how she relieves my suffering and gave so much care and attention to the development of the being She created.  Care and attention relieves suffering, and that’s why I suppose I called my Mother.  I wanted Her to relieve the Suffering of the World.

more on this topic soon…

I pray for the suffering of the World. You can literally tune with and call upon the forces of nature during meditations and prayer.

Utkatasana

Pose: Utkatasana Vinyasa Krama (Step by Step Sequence)

Stand straight with feet 3-6 inches apart.  Inhale raise arms over head stretching from the web of the thumb as the hips shift forward.  Exhale as hips shift back, bend the knees while bringing the arms down halfway.  Flex the legs and root the feet into the ground.  To come out of the pose, inhale, raise the arms overhead first with the back completely straight, then push into the feet to straighten the legs coming up to standing.  Exhale arms down.  (Repeat 5 times).  On the last repetition stay in the squat for as long as you can breathing normally.  Come out of the pose in the same way.

Benefits:

This is one of the most important Asanas.  Strengthens the core of the body; most importantly strengthening the legs and hips. Performing this pose daily will give strength and energy to the entire body.  When we exercise the hips a positive growth hormone is released that promotes good health of the entire body.  Mentally this Asana produces confidence and makes the sadhaka like a strong pillar never wavering on any task.

Cautions:

Only squat as far as you can.  Even a subtle movement can produces positive results.  It’s all about function on form.  If you can’t see your toes over your knees your knees are too far over creating sheer stress on the feet, ankles and lower back.  Most sadhakas can place a wooden blog or a rolled up towel under the heals to create a plank under the feet.  This will help keep the form while deepening the squat.

Bhujangasana

Counter Pose:  Bhujangasana Vinyasa Krama (Step by Step Sequence)

Lay down flat on the stomach with the spine straight and the legs passive.  Bring the hands near the rib cage palms down fingers pointed toward the head, forehead on the ground, elbows in.  Inhale, pull with the palms lifting the upper body half way. Exhale lift the hands off the ground maintaining the half arch in the upper back.  Inhale press the palms back into the round as you lift the body and arch the spine.  Repeat 5 times.  On the 5th repetition stay in the pose breathing gently.  To come out of the pose exhale and lower the body to the ground with the arms keeping the elbows in.

Benefits:

Strengthens spine, arms and muscles in the back. Draws creativity energy to the body that brings confidence to the spirit. Opens and expands the chest freeing the heart. Good for those suffering from Thoracic and low back pain, including nerve damage. And many, many other things.  As a counter pose for the squat it is good to release pressure from the feet and ankles as the feet are pressed into the ground in a different direction than when standing.  Also this pose relieves tension in the back and spine.  Childs pose after bhujangasana would be a wonderful complete practice for the day.

Cautions:

Bhujangasana is one of the safest asanas.  Don’t perform when pregnant.  Only push the body up as far as you can, don’t strain or hold the breath.

photo by trishbadger.com

(This piece started out as a facebook post about my missing books.)

I’m still grieving over the loss of my song books, my beauties, my musings, the pages of my mind. I wander around the house talking to myself, “where are they?” I say.  Every time I look at the spot I used to keep my Sri Chakra that was also in the bag that went missing, a little part of my heart breaks and I feel like pieces of me are dying.  Enlightened friends tell me it is all inside me, it came from me, and too there is a deeper meaning and a greater lesson out of all of it. I’m almost certain there is no lesson, it is the chaos of the world running into you, like getting in a car accident, or a star exploding in some distant galaxy creating a black hole. The universe keeps swallowing and spitting itself back out without any attachment or a single emotion. The fact that there really is no meaning to life is an encouraging thing. Debatable I know, it means that you can create your own destiny.  If there is no meaning and no purpose to your life, it means that you can give it any meaning or purpose you choose. To me this is encouraging because the love and light I feel for the world and from the world is something that I can control and I wish that energy to be directed through the funnel of pure love, manifesting itself in my physical reality. Huh, I think I’m going to start a blog about this… Anyone want to join the conversation? Send me your grievances and knowledge of dealing with loss……………

Now let’s back up quite a bit.  How did I get here?  Why would a so called “Yogi” ever say life has no meaning?  Also let me start by giving the theme to this piece.  I wish to go deeply into the concept of “dealing with loss.”  I suppose though first you need to know bits and pieces of the whole story.  What is my relationship with loss?

I have no shame in admitting that I have been divorced.  In fact I almost want to broadcast that out to the masses because there might be someone out there going through these same struggles that can benefit and relate to my experiences.  When you tell someone you are divorced (or tell them anything about yourself for that matter) most of the time you are placed into a category in their mind, and an idea of what that might have been like for you.  The fact is there is no two stories that are alike.  Everyone’s feelings are only relative to their own experiences.  Yet somehow the pain is universal, the stress, the loneliness, the hopelessness, etc., and all that comes with it.  Too, you cannot possibly imagine what another must be feeling like unless you too have experienced such things.  You can sympathize and pray for the other’s well being, but you cannot retain the same feelings unless you have walked with them.  I have never suffered the loss of a close family member.  I could never understand the pain of someone who has.  Though my experience may have felt tragic to me at the time one could say it was nothing compared to losing the life of a dear loved one, and too I might agree.  None-the-less I will carry my wiry bones and continue.  I was divorced.  At that time in my life, there were many, many things also falling a part.  Even without my push or pull things were crumbling before my eyes.  Conversely there were new endeavors simply falling into my lap out of the sky.  As much as I grieved the losses I was experiencing, my heart was also crying for my higher purpose and ultimate reality.  At the same exact time that my married life was falling apart my old band Million Year Dance was disbanding in the misted of possibly signing a management deal all in the week before performing a headlining showcase at SXSW.  I was also diving deep into my meditation and puja (prayer) practices and uniting myself to the energy of my teacher Sri Karunamayi.  I was being invited to travel with Her on the American tour that lasted 4 months as well as traveling to India.  I allowed myself to stay open to receive what ever came my way, regardless of how it would shape my life.  

Fortunately during this time of extreme loss I was in the company of many great souls, meditators, and also spending many hours in deep mediation and tuning into the philosophies being spilled out of Sri Karunamayi 24 hrs a day.  It was almost like an intensive in dealing with my pain.  I felt as if I were shedding off layers of my old life and becoming anew.  I literally felt pieces of me dying and pealing away.  (I suppose that’s the only way it happens, pieces of your life’s history simply has to die for you to move on.)  Also there was a devotee on the tour that had recently lost his wife to cancer!  I felt humbled and I felt the greater since that my problems were very little.  This devotee called his wife, “the Mother of his children and his best friend for 15 years.”  How could I relate to that… too painful.  We became a support system for each other.  I’m making a very long story short here, and also trying to share my first great loss.  What is it that happened?  What was the core feeling?  The visualization could be this:  Everything you thought your life was, it isn’t, every dream you had for the future will never be, every laugh and smile of the person you shared your life with for that short time will only be a memory–it will not live on.  Your life in its entirety is completely turned upside down.

Brett Joerger (tour organizer, mrudugam player) and Tyaga burning the karma load in the Maha Yajna in Memphis while on tour with Amma

You are left feeling like a hopeless wanderer.  I could have stayed upset, closed off, negative, casting blame, acting out, giving fits of rage… but I didn’t.  I allowed myself to trust in the energy that some may call God.  I allowed myself to trust that this energy was guiding my every step.  I felt that a new life awaited me.  I had no clue what that new life might be like, and that uncertainty could have added to the anxiety, but I didn’t let it.

Did that change the pain?  No, yet it allowed me to see it clearly and deeply without judgement.  Did the assistance of my company and meditations bring my ex-wife back  into my life?  No, yet they allowed me to open my heart and be ready to receive what ever it was that was coming next.  Did I have any idea that THIS is what awaited me?

I had no clue what the future held.  If I had closed myself down and remained negative I would have never invited such a cosmic new beginning full of the best kind of love.  I am now gently dancing on the surface of the long winded point I’m trying to make.

No let’s jump ahead in time to my current situation and give a little back story.  At some point in the 30 minutes between loading my gear in the car and unloading it to the main stage at Summer Fest a laptop case with 3 song books, a vocal peddle, and a rare Sri Chakra I found in India went missing.  If it was stolen, the thief most likely thought they were going to score a laptop, yet it was something much more valuable.  Not of any value to the thief of course, yet something more valuable to me than any other possession I own.  If I were asked, “your house is burning down, what would be the first thing you would run into the flames and destruction to save?,” I would reply, “My books.”  In fact I have grieved more for my books than I did for my ex-wife.  These books hold 8 years worth of writings, original songs, notes I had dictated from lectures given by Sri Karunamayi of which there are no recordings, and priceless/precious items I gathered while on my pilgrimages in India.  I never move on to different books until I’m completely finished and fill every page of the latter.  So in essence these three books contained the chronological history of my life represented by the pages of my mind.  I had been recently transcribing some of my writings from India for a book I’m writing called A Devotees Journey to the Lap of the Mother.  So many things about my precious books I am mourning.  No one would find them precious but me.

(photo by trishbadger.com) The table to my right is how I would display my books for every show. They are like my form of the Divine. I display them like a deity in a Temple, and treasure them as such.

The thought that someone had stolen the bag and found nothing but some crappy journals and tossed them aside was similar to the thought of driving down the street and seeing your dog dead on the side of the road after being hit by a car.  It is this tragic to me.  I still can’t believe they are missing.  I almost don’t accept the idea.  It may be denial, but I still feel deep in my heart they will they their way back to me.  In essence they are a physical representation of my own soul.  I can feel my soul crying out for me wishing I would come to save them.  I cherished my babies.  I would bring them to every show I ever played, and they would exude my soul and help me engage in the feelings I had when I first wrote those songs.  The entire weekend that followed at Summer Fest I felt like I had been at war and watched my best friends be taken down in a slaughtering gun battle.  Because the weekend was so hectic I was unable to truly feel the loss or accept that the books were gone until my truck was packed up with all my gear and we were headed home.  It was over.  After a successful Summer Fest, Gunjen and I retreated by to our home, and I cried and bellowed like I never have before.  I was sobbing… it felt like the life was being sucked out of me.

Teaching Yoga to droves of hipster kids seeking something different at Summer Fest

Suffering this kind of loss has stages right?  The stages of grieving have been mapped out by said scholars and what not.  I felt as though I was experiencing every stage all at once.  This kind of suffering leaves you with all kinds of questions as well.  The main questions that have framed this piece are:  ”Why would God do something like this to me?”  ”What is the lesson to be learned?”  ”How can I move on?”  And this is where we left off from the first paragraph of this blog.  With this kind of loss, is there any meaning in life?  I know this sounds dramatic.  But let’s look at it deeply without the drama.  Really, is there meaning in life?  Is there any purpose?  It is all very debatable.  My understanding is, no.  No, there is no meaning or purpose to life.  This might shock anyone that thinks they know me.  It is my feeling that if the vast expanse of the universe exists, then my tiny little problems and entire existence just doesn’t matter.  The universe will carry on in all its brilliant chaos with or without us.  And yet, the whole of the expanse of the universe also exists inside my soul, so that would mean that experience of my soul is also reflected in the whole of the entire creation.  We all are one.  When the world suffers, we all suffer.  This is what the Buddha set out to search for yes?  What is this life, and what is suffering?  His conclusion was that you cannot change suffering.  Suffering will always exist.  This same philosophy applies to the shear chaos of the world.  Is it possible that suffering and joy will always exist yet hold no weight as far as what we label to have purpose or meaning?  Yes!  If suffering always exists and there is no escape from it while living in this world, that implies that there is no meaning to your suffering… it simply just is.  To ask why and search for the signs and for the underlying meaning is futile.  What is it in the human being that we need these answers?  It is our own egos that apply meaning and purpose to our existence.  The whole of humanity has the unshakable need to feel important in a vast universe of uncertainty.  Our importance gives us meaning, this meaning gives us motivation, this motivation is what drives our every decision, and these decisions are based on the impact of our feeling important.  Wow, lot’s of ground to cover here… we’ll carry our load and continue.  If you are more confused than when we started fear not, it’s natural.  Simply know this, you should now feel liberated.  The idea that nothing matters, there is no meaning or purpose in life, everything is as it is chaotic and you have no control over ANY of it should be your light bulb moment.  This is liberation.  Now you know that you can’t control the world around you.  You can stop wasting your time and energy trying to manipulate it, and this will FILL you with a light and an energy that you never knew you had, because you were so bogged down with worry and confusion before.  The question now comes, “Well, of what do we HAVE control?” (This was my response to this question on a facebook post:  So what control do you have? ONLY YOU, you only have control of you, you’re emotions and reactions are paramount to the direction and flow of your immediate and future realities.)

After Million Year Dance disbanded I was left wondering what to do and where to go next. My father said casually, "I'll just be in your band, haha." Did he manifest this reality? Did he create the space in time that he was to be performing in front of hundreds of dancing young hippy kids? Maybe!

One could argue that out of suffering comes great joy!  One could say because you experienced this great loss of your first wife you were able to find the true love of your life in Gunjen, and that is the “silver lining,” so to speak.  This could be true.  However, I attribute it to the control I had over my own mind and my own attitude.  If I had remained negative, and casting blame and stuck in the “woes me” of it all I would have projected that into my future reality, and possibly the quality of my next relationship would suffer this same pattern.  You see where I’m going?  You really do have the power to manifest your own reality.  While you cannot control the chaotic outside world, you can control how you react to it, and transfer-ably how you frame your attitude to the prospective future of your life from that moment onward.  I feel that it was my own mind, my own soul, my own heart that drew Gunjen into my life.  I longed for a match that suited me.  I longed for a life partner that would offer to me what I knew I was capable of offering another.  Gunjen is the manifestation of everything I ever wanted and dreamed of in a life partner, and that’s just reality.  What will come of the loss of my books?  What lesson is to be learned?  Well , I’m not certain there is a lesson beyond making sure you have copies of everything you hold dear to you.  If there is no meaning there is no lesson.  Also one could argue that the lesson learned was the act of experiencing and feeling first hand the extreme depression of this kind of intimate LOSS.  One could say that you need to experience pain in order to know the light of true joy and happiness.  This may be true, but it still doesn’t imply any meaning or purpose to these experiences.  The feelings and emotions and actions of the day, just simply ARE… They are just there.  And what should be harnessed is the ability to observe them without any judgement what so ever.  This activity will lead you to the answers your heart craves.  Because what your heart truly craves is ultimate happiness, and you can have it.

Again let us review, that if your life has no meaning or purpose this is a liberating fact.  This means that you can choose which meaning and purpose your life will hold.  You can adjust and tune with the greater love and purity within your heart, and project those feelings onto every movement you make while living in this chaotic world.  I choose to funnel all my experiences and decisions in life through the sphere of pure love and light.  All my life’s focus is to be angled through these high feelings of love, piece, compassion, trust, surrender,  understanding, equanimity and so on…  Some may choose to project different emotions and feed into the chaos of the world and allow that to manifest into their present and future realities.  I choose not to.  ”I choose what ever I believe is real, time is only a spinning wheel.”  This is a lyric from a song of mine called “Dream the Everlasting Life,” and these lyrics are in DIRECT relationship to the core of this piece. Link to Video Clip of song Dream the Everlasting Life

How do we deal with Loss?  Feel it, live in it, be with it, study it, without any judgement what so ever, and push it through the funnel of your love, pure heartedness, compassion for others, and all the other beautiful, positive, light shining things that reside in your spirit.  You cannot deal with loss, you cannot change it, it will happen to you and all those around you.  What you can deal with is how you manifest your present and future realities… and this is what I will base my entire life’s work around.  And together may we manifest a reality of peace, compassion and harmonious love… the way human beings are intended to live…

Meditating on tour with Amma in Memphis TN.

(Other quotes from friends that shared insights with me on facebook.  Some very wise folks out there.)

Mattia Mackenroth Loss can be a gain, there are the stages of grief, but you can get to a point where you realize that what you are grieving over is a part of you still that you will never lose.

Cassia Berman ‎”Invest in loss.”–Professor Cheng Man-Ching. Meaning: if you invest in gain, you always run the risk of losing. If you invest in loss…..

Mike Welch You don’t lose what you’ve borrowed. Everything you have is borrowed.

Josh Monroe Blanchard Realize that everything happens for a reason. If something bad happens, just wait, and something extraordinary will happen to you that could not have happened without your loss.

Julia Olivarez I’m reminded of the story of Thomas Carlyle, whose maid found his just-completed book and, thinking it was trash, threw it into the fire. Carlyle just sat down and wrote the book again! Spirit throws us the curveballs; how we catch them is, I think, the beginning of grace.

It Aint Easy These Days for Struggling Artists.

The World is designed to Rip Us Apart…

What Do We Do?

I’ve been seriously pursuing a career in the arts for 11 years total and 9 years extremely seriously and before that in High School I was delusional enough to think as soon as I graduated my life would change, and I would be a famous Rock Star.  So glad that didn’t happen.

One might say that the road of an artist is paved with risk, struggle, and some fleeting joy after a 45 minute performance that may take 3 months to plan.  Some artists create struggle and pain for themselves by getting involved in all kinds of detrimental activities, and we need not go into what all those might be.  Some artists continue to try with all their might and repeatedly receive lashings from the drama in this material world.  See from my view the true artist always lives the art.  They are always living in those transported moments they sing(/create/paint) experience.  They live out their philosophies and the colors of their expression everyday.  This mental and spiritual state is not fit for the structure of this modern world.  There is no time left to ponder and dream and imagine worlds and sounds that transform the lives of any audience.

"Pondering" behind is the Taj Mahal

Everyday the modern world seeks to take the artist out of their own world marginalizing them and denouncing the value of their works and understanding of the world.  The material world is in a constant war attempting to rip the artist to shreds.  Even once an artist has reached so called material fame, what the majority of the audience wants to see is their flaws; they want to see blood, they want to see the artist ripped apart and worthless.  The material world wants to strip away the true purity of the art form, thus making it more and more difficult for the artist to remain pure and actually be able to have a stable life in this fast paced society.

My purpose here is to inspire other struggling artists.  To show a side of me that most people my not see.  I’m just like you, and if you have experienced something similar I want you to know you have a brother in this war of maya.  I want all the success of life for you, and I want to challenge you to pick up your weary sack and carry on.  The other purpose of this piece is of course to vent, why not, if I can’t vent in my very own blog then want is the use of it right?  And if we can’t talk about serious matters that may be kind of a downer, then what kind of Yogis and Yoginis are we.  Right?  Like Thich Nhat Hanh says, “You have to love the garbage as much as the Flower.”

@ Bonnaroo 2010 We just had a fight with the organizer from Ford about whether or not we could sell our CD's during the show.

Yes, Artists, the people of this world are out to get you even if they don’t realize they are doing it.  Something as small as an entire room of hundreds of people talking and drinking and carrying on while someone is pouring out their heart and sharing their art is enough to make the artist want to say “fuck it, you know what I’ll just go home and perform for my family who gets it, and feels it.”  Party and concert goers are now being programmed and bred to feel that everything is a sound track to their life.  While this is important and arguable, it also touches on the audience’s tendency for complacency and overall forgetfulness.  Please know that I am not counting out the many art patrons that oppose this view, and there are a great many movements and developments in the arts and music world that are giving great respect and advantages to artists.  I’m really getting specific with local, struggling artists doing everything themselves, just like us.

I pray that Goddess Lakshmi sends blessings to all Artists

Another  battle for the young struggling artist is money.  Most of the modern functionality of being a professional musician requires capital.  What young artist has any, right?  Furthermore, artists are continuously performing for free just for exposure, and then when we do try to charge for our services no audience member wants to pay more than 10 bucks these days.  A 90 minute show with theatrics, dancers and a message is worth more than an energetic exchange of 10 dollars.  Again exposure is still the key thing here. So from one artist to another – Never stop performing and exposing your craft to audiences even if they are cheap and don’t listen.  There are many ways to be creative and make money from nothing.  My previous band, Million Year Dance, made and sold crazy amounts of shirts that I made out of old t-shirts and a bleach pen.  Get creative and never sell yourself short. Your art has value and the energetic respect should be granted.  I have this deluded vision in my head of the old days in India/Europe when musicians were offered to stay in the palaces and castles and asked to sing for the royal parties.  Now I’m sure there were a great many musicians that never made it out of the village.  Furthermore who would want to spend their time with a bunch of greedy kings and politicians right?  At the same time the vision in my head is that the arts, dance, music, etc. had much more relevance in those ages.  You couldn’t simply turn on the latest shit downloaded to your ipod, the musicians would actually have to be present and performing for you to enjoy the sounds.  Of course there are positives and negatives here, and you see what I’m leading toward.  What we are doing on stage matters, and it’s a world that the artist never stops living, it’s not like we walk off the stage and stop being artistic.  We want to draw people into that world for a moment and all go to the same place to experience more pieces of ourselves and our humanity.

Social surroundings play a huge role as the antagonist in the story of Artist Living in the World.  It is very much becoming a “have” and a “have-not society.”  (Please note that I am not discounting the huge rise in social consciousness, awareness and a general elevation of the human spirit that we see surging in the world also).  No, I’m being very specific about the structure of the world we live in.  How can you even do something substantial in Houston without a car, everyone drives?  The city is swelling with people, and they all want to one up each other, there is an incredibly manic vibe on the highways these days.  That is because most of the people out there are working jobs they despise, and living life less fulfilled and they are literally polluting their surroundings with that energy.

Holdin' it down for "the Man" and why? Do it for yourself.

Most struggling artists have to have a “Jobby Job,” as I like to call it.  This brings on the old Alice Cooper thing right, “can’t get a job, cause I ain’t got a car, can’t get a car cause I didn’t go to school,” or what ever the stupid lyrics are.  But good old Alice touches on a fine point.  Being that artists don’t live in this world, and are being confined to the stress and the rules of this crumbling structure society has made for itself, the artist becomes crushed and lifeless and unable to express the feelings that give life and color to an audience.  It takes time to fuel and develop those natural artistic tendencies.  The oppression of every day work life sucks the life out of the artist’s sense of expression.   I’ll quote Perry Ferrell here from a song by Jane’s Addiction that I love, “Men ain’t meant for work, come on build a machine, so we can play more then go deeper.”  (think that’s how that lyric goes) Non-artists just don’t understand this feeling.  Someone with an opposing mind might say, “oh quit whining, or just deal with it.”  And that’s precisely my point.  There is no respect given to the artistic process.  Even in the live setting.  It takes so much time and effort to produces a show, and the audience just wants you to throw everything on stage and go so they can go back to tweeting and drinking or whatever it is they came to do.  Artists need room to breathe and time to feel the expressions they are trying to relate to an audience.

Someone just responded to my facebook post about this article, and mentioned booking shows.  Wow, this is a big topic.  First of all, this music/arts game now days is all about EXPOSURE.  If the struggling artist can apply this to everything they do they will be successful, even after shoveling thousands of dollars and endless hours down the hole of investing in your own career.   Exposure is everything, and at the same time this presents many obstacles and tricks.  The question to start with is, “How can we get exposure if we can’t even get a venue to give us a booking?”  My response is a question.  What is the deal with the music biz in general when it comes down to communication?  In a world where communication has been made easier than taking a shit, why won’t people at least write a polite email in response.  NO ONE in this business responds to emails, texts or even phone calls.  I blame social media for playing a role in the complacency of some.  People feel that if they are supportive on line that counts and they don’t actually have to physically be present to experience the life of the artist.  Furthermore, the venue or mag rag or to whatever the deserved artist is inquiring won’t even call back!  So this is a plea to all venue owners, newspaper, and even artists that are working professional, RESPOND!  Just even send an email saying, “Hey you guys suck we aren’t going to book you.”

Live @ Summer Fest 2010

My advice to any artists that is trying to book a show is to never stop sending emails, calling, showing up in person, whatever you have to do.  If you send out 100 emails someone is going to respond.  Now this might even present another obstacle that all true artists dread.  Say for instance you do get a call back, yet you have to perform in front of a Dos Equis Banner.  Hideous!  There’s nothing artistic about that, it doesn’t serve the artists, and further more it makes it worse because it’s promoting a behavior to young souls that may turn into a disease.  Who wants to support that?  You see?  You see the ridiculousness artists have to endure just to receive a little bit of exposure.  Even then the exposure is fleeting; you will evaporate in people’s minds within seconds.  You have to just come up with the next scheme and scheme again and again, and this too leaves the artist feeling like their soul is black and crushed.  What to do?  Where do we go?

Link To Video live at Momo\’s in Austin, booked this show by sending out 100 emails to Austin Promoters and 2 replied.

It could be as easy as to use the words of many wise Yogis, “Live in the World and not of it.”  This is something that an artist should easily understand, right away.  In my inner circle we refer to this concept as “The Robin Hood Project.”  This is easily arguable.  One could say we have “sold out,” or contributed to corporate plunder in the arts.  However, my philosophy is that, this is the world we live in; I don’t have any time to waste, so when opportunities come our way, even if they directly refute my mission statements I approach them from an angle of “How can we still leave our mark.”  Being able to hang things on stage is great.  We can make the statement of “we don’t support this banner,” and still be respectful, because it’s now part of our stage design.  Also once the exposure is made don’t be afraid to speak your mind.  I’m not saying burn bridges, but you can guarantee that when we perform I will not advocate wasted dastardliness.  That will be clear.  It might turn people off, and that is where we are not compromising our dreams and art and still getting the exposure we need.  Besides, people want to hear Rock Stars and their whole “fuck the man” attitude?  Right?  The impression we leave on the hearts of people that come to our shows is worth way more than anything there is to offer, so I will take from these dictators and rulers and give to the people around me enough so that we can escape their traps and no longer be bound to these cages in which we are housed.   So all these points are arguable you could be like Fugazi and remain in your truths and compromise nothing for any cost or exposure.  You could take the long noble journey, and the idea that you could somehow merge the two and gain access to mass exposure without ever turning over your artistic integrity.  And it can be stressful and there are always experiences in this game that can tear you down.

And speaking of being torn down, I was feeling incredibly beaten the other day, not broken still content, happy, humble, thankful and honest.  But yes, I was beaten.  My soul was aching.  After a long day of battling for what I love most I found myself engaged in the act of doing what I love most in a room full of hundreds of people.  I closed my eyes and poured everything into the songs and exposed my whole heart and felt every nuance.  My body exploded into a thousand micro me’s and I spread all the way across the room, smashing my voice against the long wall and back again, making me feel like my music was carrying the whole room off the Earth.  I opened my eyes and saw 4 beautiful people staring at me and I could feel that they experienced the same thing I had, and the sound of the surrounding chatter filled the room so much so that I couldn’t understand these precious 4 as they smiled and said nice things to me.  The other hundreds of people carried on as if us 5 people weren’t even there.

I felt a bit like this on the inside that night in front of hundreds that didn't even care to listen

I let out a huge breath and unplugged my guitar; that would be all of my soul that this place would see and feel tonight.  A young boy approached me and asked about the scarf I had tied around my mic stand.  I told him it was Palestinian.  He knew what it was, he smiled ear to ear and we began what was an amazingly uplifting experience and allowed me to see that every move we make is so very important and worth cherishing.  He explained to me that he is even afraid to say his own name because someone will call him “terrorist.”  This is sad; the boy can’t even be free about his own birth-given name.  And I’m not going to cut anyone any slack, not even myself.  Many people in this country don’t know suffering and pain, and they don’t know how to embrace it and love it.  Talking with this young man made me see that my problems are really shit.  It’s time to suck up your sack of meat and bones and just move on and keep going.  Learn from this and turn into a soldier of your dreams.  Because, make no mistake, it is a war out there.  You need to be a warrior of your dreams, and take command.

Photo of us winning a performance at Bonnaroo 2009

Now for those that have it all figured out this next bit is not for you.  Anyone that is seeking answers to any of these said concerns just like the chorus of any of my songs I have a few solutions, and I’ll outline a few of them.  This might not work for everyone and I’m sure there are thousands of other ways to go about business, and that’s why we need to open this forum and share with each other and help each other.  No longer are you my competition you are my brothers and sisters, my mothers and fathers, in this war of maya.

On the Day to Day

Where to begin right?  Well it’s like great Indian food, it’s all about the masala.  If you can’t get the onions and the spices right, the rest of the dish just isn’t going to taste right.  So of course first off before you even present your ideas, vision, and music to an audience it would be a good idea to already have the product.  Even if you don’t have an album yet make that live show the best damn live show you can.  Whatever you do has to be of good quality, and more importantly your heart has to shine in it.  It must reek of your artistic odor.  If it’s not from the heart and a real piece of you, people will sniff you out and call your bluff.

Sharing Joe's Album Art with a some new friends

The next most important thing is willingness, and drive.  To be self motivated you have to be even willing to move your body to do the work.  The drive is what is difficult.  Drive implies consistency.  You just can’t give up or ever stop working – “sleep-when-you-are-dead” kind of an attitude.  One of the biggest epiphanies I have ever had was “no one is going to come looking for you.”   No one is sitting around waiting to listen to my album and sign my band.  I have to go out into the world and spread the activity.  Being active in the world produces active results.  This is an everyday mind binder and no one is going to do it for you so, put down the bong for this morning and do some stretches, loosen the mind and get active.

Booking

This is tricky right?  Some quick obvious points:

Link to a Very Useful Website for booking venues in your area and around the Country

-Connect with other artists in the local communities (this really is your best start, venues don’t care.)  Go to their shows; get involved in the scene and what is going on.  All big businesses are started off by the door to door approach.  You have to be willing to do the leg work yourself.

Connect and understand artists or that which makes us strange

-Take every opportunity that comes along until you feel like you have some roots and scale back in your local market, this is a good time to start playing out of town.

-Now with direct contact of venues.  This is very tough.  Never send bulk emails to a CC’d list.  Promoters and venue peeps won’t dig it.  In all my dealings with people I try to be as personal as possible, and actually I’ve found that is quite rare, most people just don’t even respond.  This takes time and dedication, and personalizing any message will be way more effective.  Plus it’s really you, you can just be real.

-One thing you can never do is give up.  Without being annoying keep poking and prodding at the right moments.  Heck, even just show up at the doorstep when you know the manager of the club is going to be there and stick a CD in his face, the old fashioned way.  Chances are you’ll send out 100 emails, and only one will bite.  Once you have that one, make it count, put on a hell of a show and keep on it after the next one again and again.

These are just free flowing ideas here.  The idea is now sparking in my mind to create a forum for artists to share and help find solutions to the surmounting issues that make it difficult to be an artist.  But anyway I’ll keep going.

Money

Anyway you can make it save it.  Even if you eat less, buy less whatever it takes.  Horde that money for now playa. Don’t spend a single drop.

-Something I always mention as an option here is: Make every local show your doing about the mission.  Every show is a donator show to fund the next thing.  “Hey come donate to this show and help fund our album,” or whatever the draw may be.

-Find all the stuff your talented with and try to sell it.  Sell whatever you can and scour the landscape until you can find the cheapest ways of making money.

-Charge for your shows, you’re live artistry is worth it.

-So much to say here…

Employees

-This may feel risky for some, because it can cause friendships to sever forever.  However I feel that a relationship is only worth having if it’s all the way.  I would make my employees members of my closest friends and family.  That way everyone truly cares about what you do and that energy carries everything.

The Old Man, my father; Guitarist, Singer, Manager, Editor, Writer, Advisor, pretty much everything-er

-Now some people don’t have the fortune to have caring loving families that will do anything for you.  We can still create a family of our own in our immediate community.  Go out into the community and give service for free.  People will be more obliged to help you later on if you give your service to them with all of your heart.  Volunteer and do as many things as you can for free, and all people to feel your loving heart in it.  This is the true making of a Dharmic Warrior, and this devoted attitude will be infectious.

-Your friends can also be your fans.  Rally up every single one of your friends and bring them to the venue it will show the owners you have a draw on your own.

You Have Value

One important thing that is coming to mind is value.  Always give value to what you do.  The quality of your product will glow with it.  And you yourself are valuable.  Never at any moment let anyone tell you that you are not worthy.  You should value your own art as if it is the greatest thing on Earth, and never compromise on it, because there are a thousand things in the day to day that want to strip you of it and break you down.  Your art is worth everything you put into it, right?

I have so much more to say and I feel I need to let it rest for now.  Over the course of writing and editing this piece we realized that we need a website that is a complete How To for artists.  We are already working with people and urge any of you that if you have something to contribute to this cause please contact us.  The website would then be followed up by local Artists How To communities, that host physical forums so we could all receive the hands on approaches as well.

Thanks so much to everyone that is engaging in this topic I pray the benefits keep reaching out.  Just as I was posting this to the website, I was reading about Juliano Mer-Khamis of the Palestinian Jenin Freedom Theater was shot and killed in Jenin.  So heartbreakingly sad.  We have it easy, the best thing we can do is carry on and keep Juliano Mer-Khamis in our hearts so that art lives on.  Link to Democracy Now about Mer-Khamis

Peace

Tyagaraja

I had some beautiful people come forward and offer their inspiring stories.  Look into what other’s are sharing here:

Other Artists Experiences